On Parenting
Saturday, January 31, 2015
I never planned on becoming a parent. In fact, I once believed that I could never settle down given my Type-A personality and lofty ambitions. I thought that I could set off and rule the world with a high-profile career and rockstar lifestyle.
When I first suspected that I was pregnant, I thought the confirmation of such would shatter my world (pardon the melodramatics). Instead, I felt shock, awe and elation. I felt blessed and powerful beyond belief. I suddenly realised the miracle of being able to carry life. Even with my second pregnancy, though the timing greatly concerned me, I knew I would not trade it for a better career or different lifestyle.
However, I did not and still do not know the first thing about parenting! When my first child came into the world, I realised just how clueless I was on raising and educating a child. Heck, changing his diaper and recording descriptions of his poop were like procedures in a science experiment. Sure, they tell you that all children need is love, but they don't give you a manual on how to go about loving them. Nobody really tells a new mother right away how to deal with a frail infant, irate toddler, rebellious teenager and distant adult.
It was sheer luck that I came across these wonderful books about an American woman's parenting journey as she raises her children in France and the lessons she learned along the way. She challenges the conventional thinking around parenting - how you lose sleep during the first years, how parents hover over their children, how marriages fall apart with a child in the equation, etc. etc. - and presents the French's no-nonsense approach as an alternative.
First and foremost, I love these books because I love my sleep and my sanity and they tell me exactly how to keep those intact. Second, I admire the simplicity and practicality of her tips. Lastly, I like the art and science of French parenting; I am truly a fan and convert.
These are my top 5 favourite lessons from the books:
- Pregnancy is not an independent research project. Eat for one (and a bit). Don't panic about sushi. Don't borrow your husband's shirts.
- Baby formula isn't poison. Observe your baby. Don't stimulate him/her all the time.
- Understand the science of sleep for babies. Do the "pause" because sleeping well is better for the baby (and the entire family).
- Give kids lots of chances to practice waiting. Treat kids as if they can control themselves. Don't let your child interrupt you.
- Don't rush the developmental stages. Back off at the playground. It's not just about outcomes.
I am in no way advertising these books, but I am encouraging fellow parents to read them and explore another perspective on parenting. I did, and I have enjoyed my role as a mother so far (though the challenge is still on!).
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