The V Trap
Saturday, February 14, 2015
As a child, I used to create cards on Valentine's Day for my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. I used white bond paper, crayons and what little creativity I could muster from my normally rational being.
As a teenager, I would secretly hope, along with a multitude of other girls, to receive a surprise bouquet or a single rose from a boy (or several boys) in my class. I remember feeling heavy pangs of envy when the pretty and popular girls in school received several gifts on that auspicious date, not to mention those presents which came with songs and fanfare.
During my past relationships, I expected something special every February 14. Expectations were high, hints were dropped at every opportunity and bitter tears of disappointment were shed on several occasions. My partner would have no other recourse but to remedy the situation with a fancy dinner, an extravagant (and extra-expensive) set of flowers and extra hugs to compensate for the alleged hurt and pain.
Today, I have no fancy dinner planned, no surprise bouquet of sunflowers, not even a public declaration of love and commitment on social media. Today, I woke up to the snores and snuggles of my boys, to a normal Saturday morning at home, to a comfortable stillness and silence. My Facebook wall is brimming with colour, laughter and smiles and I find that I am happy seeing so many people celebrating love.
I wish I could go back and tell my awkward teenage self that Valentine's Day is more than being pretty and popular, more than the roses and the songs, and more than being whisked away like a princess on her way to happily ever after. I wish I could tell her that there is love all around, that love is not limited to the romance of the day, that love is in family and friendship. I wish I could make her understand that disappointment is a function of expectations, that the meaning of love is sometimes lost in the commercialism of Valentine's. I wish I could remind her to give and celebrate love more.
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
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