There are some trips and books which can change your life. El Nido was one such trip for me. When Breath Becomes Air was one such book for me.
Breathtaking. Fascinating. Stunning. There are not enough adjectives to describe the wonder that is El Nido. To feel awe in the presence of nature and to connect deeply with the sea and earth - these are moments to live for!
Reading Paul Kalanithi's When Breath Becomes Air was an incredible experience. The quote that summarises it all would probably be this:
"Everyone succumbs to finitude. I suspect I am not the only one who reaches this pluperfect state. Most ambitions are either achieved or abandoned; either way, they belong to the past. The future, instead of the ladder toward the goals of life, flatten out into a perpetual present. Money, status, all the vanities the preacher of Ecclesiastes described hold so little interest: a chasing after wind, indeed."
In El Nido, I felt freedom, strength and joy. Freedom from trivial matters, from fear, from judgement. Strength as we kayaked under the sun and swam with the fish. Joy in the stillness and elation from the waves. With Paul's words, I realised what I needed to do with my life at that point.
- I used to spend a quarter of my day on social media, obsessed with the latest updates, with sharing highlights of my life, and with crafting how I wanted to be perceived. Entire weekends would go by with me logged on the entire day to watching other people live their lives in the virtual space. Today, I am more deliberate with my use of social media, intentionally limiting usage to no more than a few minutes per day. I use Instagram to document meaningful moments and Twitter to update myself with current events and self-help tips. I hardly use Facebook these days.
- Since I limited my usage of social media, I found extra time on my hands. Now I am more present for my family, friends, and work. I am noticing the little things, remembering the big things, and hearing myself think clearly. I am reading more books, listening to my podcasts and finally training for my first triathlon.
- Training for a triathlon, of course, takes time, effort and commitment. As a complete newbie, I know I have to hit several milestones before even attempting my first race. So, I'm back to being a student by researching on the sport - books, blogs, podcasts, Twitter feeds. I've trained for and finished my first 10k run; learned how to ride a bike; and learned how to swim up to half a kilometre. I'm looking forward to working with a coach; finishing my first duathlon; finishing my first aquathlon; and finishing my first sprint-distance triathlon.
- I got rid of my insecurities and self-limiting beliefs so I could embark on my triathlon journey. I am now okay with sunburn and darker skin. I now accept that my body will change. I am okay with starting from scratch and with the possibility of failures and injuries. I accept the risks and sacrifices. I am allocating the time and effort. I have a long way to go, but like marriage, it's about the long haul and being in it to win it. It helps to have a supportive husband too.
This is a new chapter and I'm eager to see it to fruition. Wish me luck!